Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
