I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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