so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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