the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
