i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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