they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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