you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
