Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
