Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
