i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
