Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize