I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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