I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You took a bar mat shot.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
