yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
