Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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