I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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