we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
