I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
do herpes really smell.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
