i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
