After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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