if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
