I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
