Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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