what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
