it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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