i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
