I didn't shave. On purpose
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
