I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
