that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
How external is "for external use only"?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize