That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
