Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
