guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
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Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
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We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.