It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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