the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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