....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize