I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it