and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks