Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He passed out mid-signature
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...