She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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