That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
