the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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