wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize