I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
