I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
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