just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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