We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
