sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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