Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
