You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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