Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.