So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
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Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
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im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.