Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride