Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.