So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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