i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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