Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
