He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
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If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
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I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
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