You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
