Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
