HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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