just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
