Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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