take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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