I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
