i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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