i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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