they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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