Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
