SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
