I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
