I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
