He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
