I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
