My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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