I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
